Groundhog Day

I haven’t done a blog in a while because it’s like groundhog day in here and I have been really struggling with the isolation this time. It is horrible waking up each day knowing that nothing is going to happen and I am only going to leave the room twice maximum to go for a walk in my ward. I went for 5 walks yesterday.

I just can’t stand that the same thing happens each day. I get woken at 6 for blood tests and from then on I know people are going to be in and out, caterers, cleaners or doctors. I have also had some issues with the sound proofing in this room in that I can hear the man next door to me vomiting which has been the most unpleasant thing about my stay so far. He vomited every day for the 1st two weeks pretty much and he is what the nurses call an “aggressive vomitter”- it’s like something from family guy or south park- horrific. That usually happens from 6am too so the IPod shuffle has been a god send I just blast it in my ears to drown out the noise. Luckily he hasn’t done it for the last 4 days so I’m hoping he’s over the hump of it now because it really is awful.

Two of the girls from work came in to visit me last week which was brilliant and they brought lots of goodies for me which was amazing! It was great to talk about work and normal things- it was almost normal again. They explained how they were all told and I was really touched with how kind people were when they first found out, I’m sure lots of tea was made- I wish I could have been there!

I don’t know why but this week I have really missed my hair too. I can’t wait to get home to wear my wig; I have started to get the hang of accessorising it and making it look natural. I just wish I had my own and can’t imagine how excited I will be when it eventually starts to grow back, which won’t be for a long time. My mom’s is growing back now and it looks brilliant. She’s pretty excited about it too.

I don’t really feel like I settled in to being here this time. The last time I was able to just take it day but day but since I got in here I have been itching to get out and home. I have taken up knitting to try and pass the time and have so far knitted a straight line, which lucky nurse is going to get that!

I had problems with my lines too while here this time. I’m not sure if I’ve explained the lines properly but basically they put a tube into my arm or chest that means they can take blood from there and give me any medication. I had the one in my chest in originally (the hickman) but that got infected so I had one in my arm (the picc). It caused a blood clot in my arm so it had to be pulled half way through my chemo and I had to get one put in the other arm but that caused another clot so I had the hickman put back in last Friday so I’m delighted with that. Its easier and more stable for them to use so I am taking extra good care of it!

I feel like I’m being a big moan in this but I guess that’s what the blog is for.
Thanks again to everyone who has contacted me and sent stuff in to me and thanks to all the family for keeping me company in here, I know we’re all pretty much living in here now but the visits are what get me through the day.

Lots of love,
M xx