I have been meaning to write this blog for a while now, really since September and a year post transplant. Lots of people over Christmas asked if I was going to update it and I kept meaning to but you know life gets in the way (how lucky I am to say that!) Anyway the tipping decision was last week when we had to put the family cat down after 13 years. When we were in the room saying goodbye I thought back to when I was in the hospital.
Clare brought me in the laptop a few weeks after the transplant because I was so homesick and we looked up Google earth and found my house. The picture had my cat, Meg, sitting on the window sill and as soon as I saw it I cried my eyes out. Everything looked so normal. I ended up using that picture for the rest of my time hoping that I could see Meg on the window sill for real. It really helped me fight to get home.
Last year was another odd year for us- It’s the best way to describe it. It started off very weird and involved being on the cover of every tabloid...thanks Derek bloody Mooney! And of course Clare and Adam got hitched!
I realize now how sick I was when I look back to this time last year. I was still throwing up, had very little hair and generally every day was a challenge. It’s hard to think of myself in that way now because everything is getting back to “normal”. I’m down to one hospital visit every 3 months now which is great, it’s like a personal NCT test.
I’ve been in practically every machine in St James now and over the last few months have had my lungs, heart and bones scanned for any signs that the chemo and radiation affected them and all is as it should be for the most part. It’s hard trying to get back to normal life; every so often I remember what it was like to be in that ward. I was really looking forward to getting the bus again and gong to work and living a normal life, including the boring bits.
I was in the hospital earlier today and someone said to me that life is like a dart board with playing cards stuck to it. The cards are the major thing that happen in our lives like weddings, Christmas and even cancer, and the space in between is everyday life. When you add up the amount of space the cards take up on the overall dart board it’s only about 30% and the rest is everyday chores, bus trips, going to the bank and life in general. The boring stuff equates to 70% of your overall life. Leukaemia will hopefully, over time, be a small story in my life and I look forward to that supposed 70% of boring life. I’m lucky to have it.
Overall I’m doing really well. They didn’t even recognise me in the hospital earlier. One good thing is I get loads of complements when I meet people...keep up the good work and I’ll keep up mine!
Lots of Love,
Mairéad
